My life as a Mommy of 4 little boys

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Worlds worst mother?? Yeah I "win"

First, I will vent.  I feel awful for even feeling this way but I NEED A BREAK!!!!   This has been a stressful, exhausting, long long week.  I have had Hayden attached to me since Monday, nonstop.  Then Tues night all 3 boys ended up in bed with us, Wed Landon and Hayden did and last night Landon was in our bed before I was even able to fall asleep and Hayden followed soon after.  Landon sleeps laying fully up against me too so I can't even have a minute to myself while sleeping.  I feel like I can't breathe!

Thankfully Landon was feeling SO much better today so after another long day, granted a better one in many ways, I just couldn't take anymore and I called Grandma Gail and asked if she could take Landon and Casen for the night, thankfully she said yes!  THANK YOU SO MUCH GAIL!  The boys all felt much better today, even Hayden.  Hayden was up playing with them all day but still feeling pretty crappy (though nothing like what he has felt) but since he still felt bad he was very grumpy and was being a butt to the boys all day and anytime they'd do anything back he'd have a total meltdown.  So it was a rough day, it's almost easier to deal with him really sick than like this because he wants to play and do things but is so emotional it's even harder to deal with.  Landon and Casen were at each other all day too...I'm not sure who ever thought spring break was a good idea.....oh yeah probably the teachers......

But thankfully Gail said she'd take the boys so I got them all ready to go which was an event in itself, this house is a mess from not being able to do much of anything all week, I was searching everywhere for clothes for everyone, shoes were missing, it was a mess.  But we finally got out the door only to realize Mark had one of the boys boosters.  Thankfully I haven't sold my Nautilus yet so I pulled that back out and Casen still fits harnessed in it (at almost 6, not bad!), finally got the dang thing installed, the LATCH was all twisted just to annoy me I'm sure.  Then I realized $20 was missing from my wallet...or I say missing, I couldn't remember spending it, I later remembered where I spent it but it left me only $15 total and of course I needed gas.  Also, Heather had asked me to go to dinner with them after dropping the boys needed more money.  Meet up with Mark which took forever but luckily he was able to leave work and an hour later than I expected we finally met up with Gail.  

After leaving the boys we took Hayden with us to meet up with Heather and everyone for dinner.  Ordered Hayden some food that would have been ok for him to eat but of course he decided he couldn't eat it, which I figured would happen.  He had felt much better all day but still had only managed a bit of food.  But then he really wanted my haystack onions (very very thin onions fried)...from my research on Crohn's so far onions are very bad...fried food also not very good for most people.  Well the mommy in me gave in to my 3yr old who hasn't eaten barely anything at all in a week and allowed him to have the one thing he was willing to eat even though I knew it was a bad idea.  He ate probably 5-6 of them, just small ones and then about 5 sweet potato fries.  We then topped it all off with some frozen yogurt. Could I have been more stupid???  Worst mother of the year right here!  

Since then he's gone right back downhill.  We got home and he was complaining of hurting worse, temp went to about 100-101 so not high but it was gone all day before this.  Then I put him to bed in my bed and I was about to head there myself and he called out to me and said he thought he'd throw up so I said hurry to the bathroom and he got as far as me, thankfully I had grabbed a bowl and he just started puking everywhere.  He threw up all over himself, tons and tons :(  It was awful.  So while Mark got it all cleaned up I jumped in the bath with him to get him clean.  He was just miserable, complaining of his stomach.   (oh and earlier right when we got home he had bad diarrhea again, makes 4x today).  Finally got him out and into pjs and laid him back down and he fell right to sleep.  :(  

Seriously have to be more careful about what I allow him to eat, I can't let him eat things I know will be bad in the long run just so he eats something, can't let him make himself miserable :(  

We are meeting with the guy selling us the Peptamen Jr, hoping Hayden likes it and will drink it and that it helps.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

1 comment:

  1. poor hayden! you're not the worst mother, you were trying to get something into him and it's all he would eat. hugs mama! praying it will get better soon!!!