My life as a Mommy of 4 little boys

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Preston is 8mo old!

Guess who is already 8mo old?!?!?!?!

This man!!!

Can you believe it???  I can't!  Only 4 mo and my baby will be 1yr!  How can that even be possible?

He is now 17lbs 3oz and somewhere between 26.75 and 27.5in..not sure haha.  He's our little guy, slows more each month.

He is sleeping pretty good this month, aside from the past few days from being sick.  Still wakes for about 2 feeds a night, sometimes 3.  He absolutely loves his solids..he eats 2x a day 4+oz each time.  He LOVES puffs.  Anything with pear or mango is a huge hit.  He will eat any veggie as long as it's organic and in a pouch...for some reason he doesn't like jarred veggies?  But that's ok, I love the pouches, so many cool varieties.  I'm a baby food freak....we get WIC right now and they give us 64 jars a month, can't be organic and has to be the 4oz we don't use much because he eats mostly organic.  We do use some though and whatever we have left I'll give to Dessa.  But this is what his baby food cabinet looks like right's ridiculous!  Each row is a minimum of 2 deep, some 3-5 deep.  There are more pouches than it looks like, like bottom shelf on the left side there are like 9 of those sprout pouches, the other pouches are hidden behind each other too haha.

He is still in fulltime cloth too, yay!  The only disposable he's worn in the past couple months was at the ER the other day because they had to cath him and put iodine on his penis to clean it so didn't want it to stain my diapers of course haha.  His stash is getting a bit ridiculous.  I just placed my last order today..have to be done!  I have 1 more goodmama, 8 sunbaby diapers, 4 fuzzi bunz small, 1 BG pocket for overnight and 1 Fuzzi Bunz OS Elite on the way then NO MORE!!!!

His most current stash's missing about 8 diapers I think, plus the ones above that are on the way and one more goodmama that arrived after this pic

He is such a sweet baby, so loving, gives kisses ALL the time!  He is also so happy and laid back, really is an awesome baby.  He still is only sitting up and rolling from tummy to back.  He isn't trying to crawl yet, isn't interested at all.  He goes back to the developmental pediatrician on the 13th but I really think it's that he doesn't want to, not that he isn't able to.  But we'll see what they say when we go back.

Poor guy is still feeling awful from whatever he is battling.  He had been doing better this morning/early afternoon but since about 4 he's just started feeling worse and worse.  His temp spiked back up, though luckily not quite as high, didn't get to 104 today.  He really hasn't let me put him down in 3 days and tonight Mark was late getting home so the only way the big boys were getting dinner was by me putting him in his ergo and carrying him while making them something to eat

Tomorrow I'm picking up my camera from Dessa, I let her borrow it when Isaiah was born but we have to go out to Mansfield for Landon's dentist appt so I'm going to swing by and pick it up.  Maybe if Preston is feeling better tomorrow I'll do his 8mo pics, otherwise they'll have to wait until he's feeling better

Sick visit with our new pediatrician

Last night Preston's fever wasn't responding to meds at all, in fact, it was going up after medication.  So I ended up calling his new pediatrician about 11pm last night, felt kind of bad because we haven't actually seen her before so he wasn't an established patient so I felt bad waking her up in the middle of the night.  After talking to her she said she wanted to see him this morning.  

We went to bed about 12:30am and he finally really slept for the first time all night, he doesn't want to be away from me AT ALL right now.  He slept straight through though until I got up with the boys at 6:30am.  He didn't wake when I got up, well not from me moving, but within minutes he was up because I wasn't next to him anymore.  Poor guy :(  Mark tried to comfort him until I got back from getting the boys on the bus.  I took his temp which was only 101.5, yay!!!  By that point pretty much all meds had worn off so that was good.  We went back to sleep until almost  Hayden woke up late which was nice then he turned a movie on and laid there watching his movie until Preston woke up.  He was SO good this morning.  Preston's temp had gone down even more by the time he got up and he seemed to be feeling much better from all that sleep.  I went ahead and called the pediatrician office and told them he was doing much better and asked if she still wanted to see him, she did, so we went in at 1pm.  

This was the first time meeting her and I am impressed, I really liked her.  She takes patients that don't vaccinate but seemed a bit surprised to hear we didn't and asked why and I briefly explained and thankfully she dropped it after that.  She did say I "had" to take Preston's necklace off...I explained what it was for and the safety features it has and she switched from had to to just saying she felt like she needed to say it just in case but for me to make the decision..thanks,I was going to do that anyway haha. But other than those two small things I really liked her.  She actually took his history seriously.  Our old pedi always said that his prematurity issues were a "newborn thing and he's X months old now so it's in the past" which I KNOW isn't true, the NICU drs who saved his life told me that was NOT the case for him.  Even though he was 37wks he was classed as a preemie because of how sick he was, he should be treated like a preemie and they are different than full term babies in some ways...our old pediatrician didn't care, I'm pretty sure she never even read his NICU report.  This dr read quickly over it while there and really listened about his kidney issues.  She really was great.

She said that anytime he gets a high fever he should have urine cultures done because of his kidney diagnosis.  She also said she'll get the culture results from Baylor (ER we took him to the other day) because some strains of UTI don't respond well to amoxicillin so we may need to switch him to something else but for now to keep up with it.  She also let us know he has a heart murmur.  She said it didn't "sound like one of the really bad ones" but it was enough to mention and that if he didn't have an echocardiogram while in the NICU she wants to send him to a cardiologist to have things checked just to be sure everything is ok because of everything else he's had go on.  So we should know at our follow up on Friday if she wants to send him or not, after she's had a chance to fully read his NICU report.  She also checked him over and said he looks like he has the start of strep :(  Which is really rare in babies, but of course preston would get it.  Also not the cause of the high fever, it's just starting and she said the amoxicillin should clear it up before it gets too bad.  But tonight he's made it obvious his throat is hurting, his temp has gone back up, he's feeling awful again.  He's now had 3 doses of antibiotics so hopefully things will start getting better soon.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Playdates, Birthdays and ER visits!

It's been a really busy weekend...I've loved it!  

On Friday I had my monthly Mommy Meetup with girls from church.  That was fun, as always.  We went to one of their houses and I just talked to a bunch of the moms.  Hayden was at school so it was just me and Preston and he's easy, he just sat in my lap playing.  Was nice to talk to other moms instead of kids! lol We stayed there a couple hours and met a lady that also lives in Waxahachie and her son goes to Shackelford too and is Landon's age :)  She was talking about how she knows no one in Waxahachie and needs to get out more...boy do I know that feeling!  So I was already planning on going to a meetup at Getzendaner park after that to meet up with the girls in the new playgroup I just joined, so I asked her if she'd like to come with...and she did, yay!

We went over there, we were a little late but thankfully they were all still there.  They were all very nice, so glad we went.  Most had babies right around Preston's age which was nice, and then some had kids around Hayden's age but they go to MDO on Tues and Thurs and he goes on Wed and Friday SO we probably won't be able to get them together all that  much, he'll miss most playdates.  But we are going to the zoo with them soon and I'm doing another playdate at the park this Friday while he's at school.   

It was a long day but we had a lot of fun.  I left from the park and went to pick up Hayden from school and when we walked out some of his friends were on the playground so I let him play for about 45min before heading home.  Went home and made some chicken tacos in the crock pot, which btw were amazing!!  Can't wait to make them good!

I went to bed really early, I was exhausted!  Got up with the boys at 9:30 and got them all ready, Preston fell back asleep 5min before we left so I left him with Mark and took the big boys to Target to get a gift for Hayden's friend from school.  We then went to her birthday party which was out in the country part of Waxahachie.  On the way there we passed a farm I've heard people out here talk about but we've never seen had a ZEBRA!  Like real live zebra was crazy1!!!!  haha  The boys and I were thoroughly impressed.  They had a great time at the party, had to drag them out of there.  We came home and then I ran back to Target to get Madelyn a gift, came home and picked up all 4 of them and headed out to Arlington for her birthday.  It was a lot of fun, the kids had a blast and it was really nice to catch up with Heather, Steph, Becky and Julie!  I ended up not leaving until almost 9!!  Oops.  A little while before leaving Preston started running a temp so Becky checked it and it was 101.5.  By the time we got home it was 103.6 :(  So I gave him tylenol and put him to bed. 

Mark let me sleep in the next morning since he had all day Saturday to was nice.  Preston and Casen were sick all day :(  Casen's temp was around 102 and Prestons 103.  We all went to bed and then at 4:35 Preston woke up and Mark said he was really hot so I touched him and he was burning up so I went and grabbed meds and his thermometer.  His temp was 105.1!!!!  So I gave him meds then tried to nurse him and he just couldn't nurse. I don't know what was going on, maybe he was confused, but he was upset and couldn't latch on.  So I got up and off to the ER we went.  When we got there they gave him a dose of Tylenol to go with his motrin I had give him.  Then they tested him for RSV and flu...both came back negative.  Then because of his kidney issues they wanted to check him for a UTI.  They asked how I wanted to collect the urine and I told them just to cath him, he has had it done before and was fine with it and I knew he wouldn't want to sit around for hours..just make it faster.  So the nurse cathed him and got NOTHING.  Literally not one single drop!  She even called a nurse in to see because apparently no one fully empties their bladder so they couldn't believe there was nothing.  So they put a bag on his penis to catch pee and I nursed him and we waited a good pee.  so they cathed him again and finally got just a couple drops, enough for the test.  She also asked me if his temp had gone down and I said yes and kissed his forehead and said it was maybe 100.  So she said "well let's see how good you are' and checked and sure enough...100.1.  She was impressed.  His urine test came back showing the early signs of a UTI so he was given antibiotics before it gets bad.  That isn't the cause of his fevers though, it wasn't a full infection it's just something viral...I really think it's going to end up being Roseola so we'll see what happens.

He's napping now, no temps above the 103 range today, thankfully.  Casen is feeling a little better today and will go back to school tomorrow.  Hopefully Preston is feeling better tomorrow...we have so much to do the rest of the week

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Quick Kiddo Update

Since I haven't really been updating like I should I figured I'd do one more blog tonight and do a quick update.  

Preston is now almost 8mo old!!!  He'll be 8mo next Tues!  As of today he is 17lbs 3oz (15th%) and I bet he's still the same length as he was like 2wks ago....26.5in.  He is sitting really well now, he can bend completely down to the floor to get something that is almost out of his reach and sit himself back up.  But he can't go from laying down to sitting yet.  He LOVES to eat now, his favorite thing to do lol.  And he's a dancing fool...he loves music.  If you have music on he's happy no matter what, and he dances like crazy.  He is finally getting over the cold he had last week, he's been much better the past 2 days.  BUT his eye has been worse again today so I sure hope he's not coming down with something else.  

Hayden is doing pretty good.  He is still loving school and the past few weeks when he brings home his paper with letters he's doing SO much better writing them.  Before he would just scribble on the lines instead of writing them..nothing that even resembled the letter.  But now he is really trying and doing great!!  Most of them look just like the should just a bit shaky.  He is also starting to color much better as well.  He's very excited because he got an invitation to a birthday party for one of his friend's from class. It's his first invite just for him :)  That is Saturday and he can't wait!

Casen brought home his report card the other day and he is doing AWESOME!!!!!  He didn't have a grade lower than a 97!  He also gets so many golden tickets at school (those are from teachers other than his that catch him doing something good at school).  He also brought a note home today from the counselor saying thank you because he drew her a picture, also told him what a great kid he was.  He hung it up, he was very proud.  Also in his Friday folder last week in the teacher comments on his behavior log his teacher had put "Casen is AWESOME!!!"  <3  So that pretty much sums it up...I agree, Casen is awesome!  Oh and tonight's book he brought home for his reading was a level 17, he read it with no problems at all, and they have to be an 18 to pass 1st grade I believe.  

Landon is getting over a small stomach bug.  He threw up at school yesterday and was sent home, but he hasn't thrown up again but hasn't been feeling well.  Tonight he was much better so he'll go back to school tomorrow.  He also brought home his report card and I can't remember all the grades but he is doing really well too!!!  His reading is awesome now!  He reads chapter books with no problem at all.  Him and Casen are currently reading for a Six Flags ticket.  He has really gotten into reading lately which I love.  He's really excited about baseball starting back up soon, he's really hoping his old coach can pick him up, so we'll see.  It will be his first season in kid pitch so it'll be interesting.  Overall he's doing great too!

And Maggie...she's good too...dumb as ever :)

Mark has been working insane hours this week.  He went to work at like 8am on Monday, came home about 7pm then left again by 9:30pm to go back to work and was there until 4am!  Then Tues he was up about 9am working in our office but didn't actually leave the house until about 10:30am but he didn't get home last night until after 2am!  Today we left the house at 9am so I could drive him to Garland to FINALLY pick up his car!!!!!!!!!!!  He got home at about 7pm after stopping by the store on the way home where he had to wait for a car to pull out of a parking spot and while waiting he dozed off...he has no idea for how long but when he woke up the car was no longer in sight!!!  Poor guy is exhausted.  He took a nap from 845pm-9:30 then got up and left again and now it's 1am and he's still at work :(  A lot of good things are happening for the company so I just keep telling myself it will be worth it in the end, but I hope this is the end of the long hours for this week at least...he needs to sleep or he's going to fall asleep at the wheel.  I've been waiting up for him every night but if he isn't leaving soon I don't know how much longer I can wait up, I've only been getting the same amount of sleep as him so I'm exhausted too....

Tax Time!!!

I love tax time!!!  We are lucky that we get a pretty good return every year.  We use that money each year to get things we can't normally afford to get during the year because they cost a lot up front.  Last year everyone got new beds and bedding.  Here are our plans for this year....

  • First, we are hiring a maid company to come out and do a deep clean on the house!  This is the thing I'm most excited about!  Our lease is up here at the end of Feb but we've decided to just stay here another year, work on our credit and hopefully buy when that year is up.  But the house is pretty messy.  I haven't been doing a good job keeping up with the housework since I got pregnant with Preston.  Right now it's basically clean but it really needs a deep clean that I was dreading having to do plus had no idea when I'd have the time to do all of it.  So we have a company that is going to do it, yay!!!  It's kind of expensive but I really think it's worth it.  We will have the house completely picked up then they will come in and do all of this:
Throughout Entire Home
- Vacuum All Carpet; Sweep/Mop All Ceramic Tile Throughout Home
- Dust All Counters, Tables, and Furniture Throughout Home
- Dust All Blinds and Windowsills
- Clean Inside Glass of Windows
- Dust All Baseboards and Fans (Must Be Within Reach of 3 Ft. Stepladder)

- Clean and Sanitize All Counters, Countertops, and Sink
- Clean Inside Oven and Microwave
- Clean Top of Stove
- Wipe down all appliances
- Dust Cabinets

Bathrooms (2)
- Clean and Sanitize Inside and Outside Toilet
- Clean and Sanitize Sink Area
- Clean and Sanitize Tub and Shower
- Clean Mirrors (Streak Free)
- Dust Fixtures or Cabinets (If Applicable)

We have a pretty big house (a little over 2300sq ft), 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, 2 living areas.  All bedrooms and living rooms are carpet but the rest of the house is all ceramic tile.  It really is a lot to clean so I can NOT wait for them to come do this.  I really think it will help with the stuff I was talking about in my previous blog because me feeling like I'm never on top of the cleaning just adds to the stress.  

  • We are repainting the whole house, woohoo!  This we are doing ourselves...I think lol...but it needs to be done.  There are handprints all over the place and Hayden has taken pencils, pens, markers, crayons and even nail polish to numerous spots all over the house.  Can't wait to get all of that covered up...I think he might finally be done doing that type of thing...I hope.  
  • We are getting a new couch
  • We are going to spend some money to decorate the house a bit.  We've been here 2yrs and everything is just...plain.  We have no pictures on the walls, nothing like that.  So we are going to print some pics and buy some frames and put them up, frame our family rules that Nikki is making for us. 
  • We are also going to buy some organizational things...I feel like one reason it's so hard to keep things clean around here is everything doesn't have a place.  I need some things to make it function better around here.  I've found so many great ideas on Pinterest I want to try, I'm not very creative but Mark is so hopefully together we can do some of it.
  • Then we are going to buy Mark and I some new clothes which we need, badly.  We are going to buy Preston's next size of clothes and start the boys summer wardrobes.
  • Then we are going to sign Landon and Casen up for spring baseball!!!!!  I want to do a sport for Hayden but I really don't know what yet, he really misses gymnastics so I'm thinking about enrolling him in one of their boys only classes to see if that one works out better.  He would also love to play soccer again but last time he really didn't play, he just enjoyed having something that was just his.  I really don't think he's ready for tball yet, though he's old enough now, he just isn't ready for that type of thing...especially not with as competitive as it is here.
  • Then of course pay off some on bills and save the rest for a family vacation this summer :)

Sooooo what's everyone else doing???  Anything exciting?  Hurry up Feb 1st!!!!!

None of us are SuperMom all the time

I'll admit it.  I'm not SuperMom. I also want to ask, why doesn't anyone tell you it's going to be damn hard at times?  Why aren't we warned that there are going to be times that we just stand there wondering what the hell we did wrong? Why aren't we told that somedays we will question everything we do?  I hear so much about how wonderful parenthood is, now don't get me wrong, sure it's great at times.  I love my kids more than anything but man some days it just sucks.  I feel like I've had a lot of those days lately.  Somedays I want to just run away, but of course I won't and I don't really want to, but I do want things to get better.

I used to be so sure of the way we parented our kids.  What we were doing was right, I just knew it, I told everyone about it...hell I pushed our beliefs on everyone...I really regret that.  Because as I've matured as a mother I've come to realize that not everything I do works for everyone else, hell it doesn't always work for me.  Things change, family dynamic changes and the way you parent has to change along with it.  Everyone has different things going on in their life so who the hell am I to tell them the way we do things will work in their home and what they are doing is wrong??  I have no idea, but apparently I thought I had the right to do so.  If you're one I pushed my beliefs onto I'm sorry.  

I thought I knew all....until Hayden.  That kid threw us for a loop for sure.  Landon and Casen were complete opposites so I thought I pretty much had this thing down, surely Hayden would fall between them somewhere.  But oh no, Hayden is one all his own.  We used to use gentle discipline with our kids, positive reinforcement, we used timeouts at times but really tried not to use punishments.  It worked great for Landon and Casen.  They were very respectful, very well behaved...all around great kids.  We got compliments all the time on how wonderful they were.  But then Hayden, that didn't work for...nothing worked for him.  We have tried everything with him.  We are very consistent when we do switch to something, not try it once or twice then say "oh well it's not working, must not be for him".  We give everything a chance, use it for a few weeks to see if it makes any improvement.  I used to be 100% against spanking...we even tried that.  Now I'll still say I don't like did not work for Hayden, I do think for pretty much all kids there are other ways of discipline that do work better, but I also acknowledge that some people feel that is the best choice for their family and as long as they aren't being abusive then who am I to say they should do something different?  But we tried time outs in a time out spot, sending him to his room, taking away things he liked, taking away privileges...really anything you can think of...we've tried.  Nothing works.  Now, he isn't just some awful kid, he isn't bad 24/7.  He wants to be good, he just can NOT control himself.  No matter what the discipline is when he is in that moment nothing is going to stop him, he has zero self control, can't see that doing that is going to have this consequence or if he can in that moment he just does not care at all.  He hates all punishment, he is truly sorry when he does get in trouble, but again that moment comes back and no matter what he's going to do it again every single time.  He is one of the most loving kids, he is so nice, he is hilarious and wants to be everyone's friend.  I 100% believe that there is something going on in his little body that is causing his behavior, he is not a bad kid, it's not a parenting problem, there is something else going on.  We are currently in the process of figuring out what that is.  

But this has been going on for years...literally.  This started from as soon as he hit toddlerhood, as soon as he was able to get around and do things this has been going on.  It wasn't until more recently that I've really started to realize this is really out of his control.  He is not trying to make us mad, he is not trying to be bad, it's more than that.  But no matter what it is, it's extremely exhausting.  

I think probably one of the worst feelings in the world is feeling like you are failing as a mother.  And with a child like Hayden, who you just can't seem to figure out, you feel like that often...I feel like that often.  It runs you down to the point where you pretty much give up.  You just do what you absolutely have to to get through the day but nothing more.  And that's pretty much where we've been for awhile now.  I realize that now and am trying my best to change it.  

I get up in the morning, which I have to drag myself out of bed, I'm exhausted from staying up way too late at night because I can't fall asleep because I lay in bed thinking about everything I should have done but didn't and how I did a crap job again that day.  When I finally do get up I want to hide away.  I don't want to deal with the everyday tasks of being a mom most days.  Wow...that's hard to admit to everyone.  

Hayden's behavior isn't the only's also my reaction to it.  I think I've gotten a little depressed because of constantly feeling defeated with him.  It has effected the older boys as well.  Casen, who used to be the most loving, quiet, shy kid now lashes out at his brothers all the time.  I think he feels he has to to protect himself from Hayden.  Casen is Hayden's main target, anything to piss him off he'll do.  He throws things, hits them, kicks them, breaks toys....anything to get the reaction.  Casen is the one who gives him the reaction he wants so that is who he goes after most of the time.  It is a vicious cycle.  And nothing any of us are doing is helping.  Well that ends now.  

Maybe by putting it all out there it will hold me more accountable, maybe it will help anyone else who might feel the same way...hopefully I'm not the only one.  Things are changing around here, they have been in motion now for a little while and slowly but surely things are getting a bit better.  I feel like we are finally starting to get through to Hayden.  Turns out...positive reinforcement and less punishment is now working for him.  He understands it more now and it is getting through to him more.  It definitely hasn't taken away all of our problems, far from it, but things are slightly better.  He's using his words more, he is hitting less...both good things.  

Now, I'm working on me.  I don't like who I've become as a mother, this is not who I was a couple years ago and it's not who I ever envisioned myself to be.  I stopped cooking as much, I have withdrawn a lot from the older boys, I haven't been getting out much, haven't been taking them out much, haven't been doing crafts with the kids, have gained weight and my hips have gotten so bad it's ridiculous.  It's no wonder I feel so depressed and can't sleep.  And me feeling like this negatively effects the kids and that's not what I want.  

A few things I'm working on to make myself better

~Start waking up earlier and therefore going to bed earlier~
~Start spending more quality time with each of the kids~
~Start planning crafts with the kids again, goal is to do one a week and work up from there~
~Set a strict schedule for Hayden so he is busy during the day~
~Start cooking a lot more, making the boys lunchs and cooking snacks~
~Focus on eating healthier and hopefully losing some weight~
~Get more involved in play groups around us~
~Get out of the house~

I refuse to continue to fail my kids.  I refuse to not be the mother I want to be and they deserve.  Yes I WANT to be supermom.  I want to be the one who has the clean house all the time, who makes homemade meals every night, breakfast on the weekends, prepares most of their snacks.  I want to be the mom that is busy with playdates.  I want to be the mom who is involved in their kid's classrooms.  I want to be the mom who doesn't yell and lose her temper.  I want to be healthier for me and for my kids.  And I know I CAN be that mom again.  I know there will be hard days, but I have to stop letting them get me down and just giving up.  

Things aren't always fun when it comes to parenting, it's HARD work, much harder than I would have ever imagined but I KNOW it's the most rewarding job in the world.  I was reminded of that tonight when Hayden was especially patient and nice to Casen even when Casen wasn't so nice back to him and when I looked at Hayden and told him what a great job he did that smile, kiss and hug he gave me was proof.  Things are getting better around here, will take lots of hardwork but we will get back to the family we were before and even better :)  It's definitely hard to admit that things haven't been so great, but I think if us as mothers admit that to each other a little more often we wouldn't feel so alone when we are the ones going through the hard times.  

If I don't update here much it's because I've got our schedule full for awhile...playdate tomorrow, 2 playdates on Friday, 2 birthday parties on Saturday, church on Sunday :)

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Isaiah is here!!!

On January 12th I had the most amazing day ever aside from the births of my boys.  At about 8 in the morning I got a call from Dessa letting me know she was having contractions and she just knew this was it.  They were about 10min apart so I hung out for a little while and they kept up and got a bit closer so I headed over there and got there a little before 1pm.  She was laying in bed so I told her she should get up and move around so she walked lots and kind of squatted on the floor, sitting on her feet and got them to about 6min apart.  Then suddenly they went to about 2min apart and at about 3 or so she decided it was time to head to the hospital.  

We weren't allowed back there while she was in triage but Chris text me to let me know she was a 5 and 100% effaced and they were keeping her!!!  After getting things all set up they let me back and she was waiting on her dr to break her water.  He finally got there a little before 6, like THE second I walked out to get some food before the cafeteria closed lol.  They broke her water and she was already having contractions about 20-30sec apart and they just got more intense after that.  About 6:30 she was having a lot of pressure so her nurse checked her and she was 6 and they got her her epidural.  We had to leave the room again for that and it seemed to take forever!  I was actually getting worried something was going wrong it took so long. I called my mom while out there to let her know things were moving faster and she should probably head up there, Chris' mom, sister and niece arrived during that time too.  Finally Chris came to get us, nothing had gone wrong they had just done the epi, got her all fixed up and started pitocin.  The pitocin was already working and she was having some super intense contractions...good thing she couldn't feel them anymore.  She had done SO awesome, she was having some REALLY strong ones before her epi and was a champ handling them.  

After that she tried to relax some, we all just hung out and then her nurse came back and she was an 8 almost 9 and right after checking she had a contraction so she checked her again right after and she had gone to a 9 with just a lip left!!!!  So they started getting things set up then she did 2 practice pushes.  Let me tell was THE most amazing thing ever!!!!  She did so good and you could see his head.  Now I've had 4 babies of course but never had a mirror or anything so I have never actually SEEN a birth.  It was just so awesome!!  April (Chris' mom) and me just kept looking at each other in amazement.  She was pushing so well, her dr got there right after and I moved up by her head so that I could get pics from that angle for her.  After pushing with 2 contractions, I think she pushed about 3x?  Isaiah Lamar Hill was born!!!!  First thing she noticed was that he had 2 teeth!!!!!!!  The dr couldn't believe it, he's been delivering babies for 30yrs and had never had one born with teeth.  We have since looked it up and apparently it happens in about 1 in every 2000-3000 births...pretty rare.  

He was taken to be cleaned up and everyone just kept saying they couldn't believe he had teeth haha.  He was 8lbs 1.8oz (8lbs 2oz) and 19.5in long!!!!!  We all thought he would be so much smaller because she was SO tiny!  They ended up pulling one tooth because it wasn't even attached, just sitting in his gums.  The other is very loose and will probably be pulled before he leaves the hospital.  

He was doing great at first and I was able to help her with nursing the first time, they both did wonderfully!!!!  She said to me " I don't understand why people choose not to do this, it's amazing, it's such a bonding thing"....totally agree Dessa!!!!!  

He did have to go to the NICU and has been there since.  He was breathing fast so they wanted to watch him closer.  He is doing much better today and we are praying he comes home tomorrow!!!  If not then for sure the next day!!  She is doing so amazing pumping for him.  She's an amazing mom already!!!!!!  I'm SO proud of her and Chris and know they are going to be great parents, Isaiah is one lucky little boy!!!!!!!

Thank you both soooo much for allowing me to be there during his birth, it is something I will NEVER forget!

Welcome to the world Isaiah Lamar Hill!!!!  We've been waiting for you and you have so many people who love you, you're going to grow up to be one awesome little man.  You've got 4 cousins that can't wait to spoil you with love and play with you and teach you things

Isn't he precious <3

Monday, January 9, 2012

Preston's 6mo appt & appt for Hayden as well

Today we had Preston's 6mo appt, even though he's 7mo 2wks.  First of all, what was I thinking setting it up for 9:30?  It's all the way in Arlington.  Won't do that again.  

I got up at 6:30am with the boys to get them ready for school, first day back after Christmas break.  Then I decided to just stay up and get things ready.  I took a shower then packed Hayden a bag to take, Preston's stuff but also packed extras just in case Dessa went into labor or was sent to the hospital after her appt.  Brought his pumped milk, baby food, lots of diapers, extra clothes.  Remembered everything, or so I thought.  So we finally leave and I'm already 10min behind what I had planned.  My gaslight was on so I had to stop and get gas, putting me further behind.  Plus it was raining.  Mark had asked for me to drop the keys off for his rental car which was right off the highway.  Well apparently that isn't as fast as it seems.  Took me forever and still didn't get it fully finished, Mark has to go by later.  Finally get out of there and I'm REALLY running late.  The appt was at 9:30 and we got there at exactly 9:45 which is good because after 15min they cancel your appt.  We ended up having to wait forever but at least I didn't have to reschedule.  

They finally called us back and went to weigh and measure Preston.  But she told me not to worry about undressing him at all?  So he weighed in at 17lbs 11oz...with 2 layers of clothes, cloth diaper (wet), socks and shoes lol.  So all of that had to add at least 3/ he probably weighed in right under 17lbs really.  I weighed him yesterday and he was exactly 17lbs not long after eating so we'll go with that.  Which puts him at the 20th%.  He is now 26.75in long, 33rd% and his head is 43cm which is the 14th%.  So he's just a little guy.  But he's doing well, checked out fine.  The dr annoyed me because she just assumed he was on formula, which she has done at both of his previous well checks but whatever.  He has his next appt in March for his 9mo.


We talked about Hayden while there too.  With all of his behavior issues not getting ANY better only getting worse it's definitely more than normal.  So she gave us numbers to child psychiatrists so I can call and get him an appt.  But she also drew blood to check his thyroid.  Apparently that can cause some similar symptoms?  That was a HUGE mess.  He's had blood drawn before and has done just fine.  But this time I don't know what happened.  He was laying on the table and I held the arm she was going to stick down.  Well she she stuck him he reacted and grabbed with his other arm before either of us could stop him.  He pushed it further in, he hit it so hard the needle BENT!   He was screaming, we both felt awful for him.  It was bad.  So she wasn't able to get the blood so she went to get another nurse to hold one arm so I could hold the rest of him so she could do the other arm.  So I picked him up to flip him to lay the other way so they'd have better access to his other arm and he didn't want to let go of me, we literally had to peel him off of me.  He was screaming the place down, worse than I've ever heard him scream....and I've heard some major fits from him.  He just kept screaming "NO NO NO NO" over and over at the top of his lungs, he was bright red, sweating and shaking.  There was no calming him down, I was holding his body and his arm and he was trying to kick me away, we were all trying to talk to him but I don't think he even heard us at all.  Preston was looking at him really concerned then started to cry because he knew (who couldn't have known) that Hayden was upset.  So she finally gets it cleaned and sticks him and THE second he was stuck, seriously the exact second, Hayden was SILENT.  Not another sound.  I really think when she did the other side she was either rough or just did it at a bad angle...something that really hurt him and that's why he reacted.  Then he was terrified but when she did the other he was just fine as soon as he realized it was just the pinch and he was fine.  He laid there and let her fill the tubes and was fine after that.  Still upset from what had happened but not crying and screaming anymore.  But the whole experience was just awful, for him especially, but me too.  So we finally got out of there a little after 11:30.  

We went to visit Aunt Gigi and then had lunch with my mom.  I then remembered I had left Preston's milk in Aunt Gigi's freezer so had to run back by there before heading home.  I made perfect time though, I Pulled up and hadn't even had the chance to get out of the car when the boys bus pulled up behind me.  They opened their gifts from nonnie and Aunt Gigi and are now playing.  I'm exhausted and the busiest, craziest part of the day is still to come.

Oh and Dessa had an appt today and is now 4cm and 90% effaced!!!!!!!  Can't believe it, really will be any day now!!!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Parenting Goals

So one of my resolutions was to become a better mother.  Now I don't think I'm some awful mom by any means, but I do think we all always have room for improvement.  We have always wanted to use positive discipline with our kids, which we did for a very long time.  Then Hayden became a toddler and things have been...HARD, to say the least.  He is very tough to deal with most of the time, very stressful.  I don't mean to make him sound like some awful kid, he's very loving, funny and sweet but then he is very trying too.  And from the constant stress of him doing things he shouldn't be seriously goes on from the second his feet hit the floor until we finally fight him into his bed...we have really gone off the path we wanted for our kids.  We have been yelling way more than I'd like..which what I'd like is not at all.  Which in turn the kids have started yelling at each other...a lot.  And treating each other badly and I really feel it's because of us being so stressed and reacting poorly.  So this year both Mark and I want to change that, we want to get back to parenting in the way we feel is best, it's going to be hard with the constant stress but we CAN do this and HAVE to.  

So this week on facebook I started making goals for myself.  I really liked putting it on there, it made me feel more accountable, like everyone else knew what I put so I had to follow through.  But then I feel like I can't really explain enough on there so I'm moving them here.  I don't think that I will be able to continue to think of a new goal, that is actually something we really should work on, daily.  And some things will take more than one day to work on and put in place.  So instead I'm going to start setting weekly goals and will post about it here.

The goals I had put on Facebook so far were:

~Be positive. No matter what happens, deal with it in a positive way. Don't let any misbehavior get to me, it has nothing to do with me, it's not to annoy me. Model the way I want the boys to react to each other when they are getting on each other's nerves.

~ Listen. Truly listen, not just smile and nod or go about what I was already doing and half listening. When they talk focus on really stopping and listening because how can I expect to fully listen to me if I don't for them?

The reason for that one is that is a lot of the time I will keep cleaning, watching tv, playing on the computer, dealing with another one of them...whatever it is that I'm doing.  Then they talk to me and I'm more just nodding along with what they are saying, not truly listening to them. I hear them but I'm not paying attention the way I should be.  And how can I expect them to listen to me if I only half ass listen to them sometimes.

~Goal for the weekend...not to raise my voice at all. Remember to really listen, not halfway listen, stop whatever I'm doing and really listen to them. Remember to be positive. And something from a book I'm reading. I'm not responsible FOR my kids, I'm responsible TO them. The only person I'm really in control of is myself, I can only control my reactions to things, not theirs. Modeling to them how to react and deal with things it the best thing for them to learn. And there has been way too much yelling in this house lately, from us and especially them to each other. No more :) Oh and help Mark with these things too :)

So I'm reading this awesome parenting book that I really think all parents should read.  It's called ScreamFree Parenting by Hal Edward Runkel.  It's not just about how to stop yelling but how to stop reacting.  Whether you react with yelling, threats, spanking, withdrawing, whatever it may be.  It talks about shifting the focus from your kids to yourself.  That you are not responsible FOR your kids but you are responsible TO your kids.  You are responsible to them in how you react and treat them.  I'm about 3/4 of the way done and agree with everything in it so far.  Which says a lot.  After 4 kids I don't think I have ever read an entire parenting book, I read some then see how I don't agree with parts and will skim through.  But this book is different, I really think everyone should read it.  I think it's exactly how I want to be with the kids, and I know Mark does too but we just need a push, examples and help getting there.  Mark doesn't read but I think it's so important that we do this together that tonight I started reading the book TO him lol.  Now he CAN read, he just hates to and I know he wouldn't really take it in if he was reading it himself and he'd probably just fall asleep lol.  So we decided that each night I'll read a chapter until we get through it.  I'm really glad he is willing to do whatever it takes :)

So our goals for this week are to REALLY work on the ones from last week, make sure to read every night and start shifting the focus to ourselves.  Another one is giving the boys their space and respecting it.  Which is another part of the book.  He says you can't give your kids their space, whether that is their room or whatever, and then try and rule it.  It is their space and they should be in charge of it.  We should respect it.  Now the boys don't mind us walking in their room anytime but we want to start knocking and making sure we have permission to come in, allowing them to be in charge of their space and take responsibility for it.  Sounds easier than it really is to relinquish the control.  If they don't want to clean it we can't say anything about it, now we can say we don't want to go in there, but don't judge and don't tell them what to do about it.  

So wish us luck!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Things to accomplish in 2012

So I decided to make a list of things I'd like to do this year.  Some of them are just little things, parenting things, around the house things and then some are bigger.  It'll be interesting to see how many we actually accomplish :)

  • Find time to take the boys to the park a minimum of 2x a month
  • Buy the above rules and follow them :)
  • Have at least one play date a month, aside from our mommy meetups
  • Finally print some pictures and hang them on our walls!
  • Get a new family portrait and hang it on the wall too!
  • Stop yelling, or at least ALMOST stop ;)
  • Write in the boys "I Like" books EVERY night!
  • Keep up with this blog more
  • Figure out a way to curb the boys tattling
  • Figure out a way to calm down the sibling rivalry between the 3 big boys
  • Make date night with Mark a priority, once a month
  • Try and get out with other families more
  • Go on our first family vacation this summer, even if it's just something small
  • Cook a homemade meal at least 5 nights a week
  • Focus more on the boys eating, we've been slacking lately and we need to get back to more healthy eating.
  • Try to start going to by midnight
  • Keep at cloth full time (we have been back to 100% cloth now for a few weeks)
  • Start going to the library again at least 2x a month with the kids
  • Complete all of "My Plans" I have started in my Bible app
  • Be better about staying on top of housework

I'll probably add to this more over the next week or 2...wish me luck!