I've decided

I am not going to let people get to me anymore.  I'm over it, done.  

But just a word of advice to some, you should really think about what you are saying to friends before you say it.  There are some things you can't take back and it will stay with that person for a long time.  Everyone has their own opinion of what is right for themselves, their family and their friends.  But there is one thing that a "friend" should never do....insult another friend's parenting.  Anyone who REALLY knows me knows that everything I do I do with my kids best interest at heart.  My life revolves around them, they are my everything.  I almost never do for myself, it's ALWAYS them first.  And I try my hardest to make sure every decision I make is the absolute best I can do.  I know that, and the people who love me know that.  My right for my family doesn't necc mean "right" for your family, but it damn sure is right for mine and I don't want/need people questioning that.  You may not agree but that's because you aren't in my shoes, you haven't been there since day one with my children, you aren't the one making absolutely every decision for them.  

I would never do something to my children that would cause them any pain unless I thought at that moment I was doing the absolute best for them.  And for you reading it (you know who you are) I never said there was NO pain, you weren't there, you don't know their dr, you don't know my children, you know nothing about the situation, I know what happened and that's all that matters.  Why do some parents vaccinate?  It causes pain.  Because they feel that they are doing the best for their kids even if it might cause a little pain at the moment.  Why do some parents spank?  It causes pain.  Because they feel its the best discipline method for their family.  Now I agree with neither of those 2 things, but does that mean you are wrong???  No.  Does it mean you are abusive?  No.  But apparently my choice with my child makes me wrong, abusive, dumb and I should have had my children taken away at birth????  And I'm the one that thinks I'm always right???  Yeah I see it clearly.  

I don't put down other people's parenting styles, I may not agree with it but I would never go tell them they are wrong and put them down.  Like I said I do what's best for my family, I don't care what anyone else thinks, I don't care what you do with yours, I'm sure you have you reasons for doing it.  Expressing an opinion on a subject, or having a discussion or even having a debate doesn't imply that I think I'm right or my way is the only way, it just says I think my way is best for my family.  People need to learn how to have a discussion and debate without attacking and taking things personally.  

Some people seem to think I always think I'm right but let me make it very clear now...I DON'T

But anyways, no longer letting people get to me.  If they don't care enough to respect my decisions and opinions then apparently they aren't worth my time.  Too bad one of them had to be someone I thought was a best friend, but she made it very clear that is no longer the case.  

So moving on.....

Still no word on the house, hopefully tomorrow..... 

Moving this weekend? End Feb? No next weekend? Hell I don't know.

Well after 4mo of searching we have finally found a house!  Ok well this is number 3.  The first we found got pulled back off the market.  Then the 2nd the day we turned in our app it was leased to someone else.  Now this one, is better than both of the others combined, it's amazing!!!!!!  The day we turned in our app someone else did as well so we started panicking thinking since we asked for them to let us wait to move in until Feb 27th the other people would get it.  So we went back and told them we'll move this weekend if that's what it took to get the house instead of the other people.  The other people backed out, yay! So we changed our move in date back to Feb 27th.  Well now after even MORE issues with our current leasing people we have decided that if we get this house we are moving in Feb 1st.  So now just waiting on the final word, everything so far looks good though.  Until we know for sure I won't post the link because then everytime I look at my blog from now on I'll be sad to see the most perfect house NOT ours.  But until then some things I absolutely LOVE about the house

• First it's a model home so has every upgrade there is!
• Each of the boys have their own room, and they are good sizes too
• The walls aren't white, and neither are the doors even
• The faucets are gorgeous, this black color
• Stainless steel appliances
• Huge kitchen with tons of counter space
• Beautiful light fixtures all throughout, fans in each room
• Good sized backyard
• The driveway isn't a huge hill like ours now and it's pebble stuff not just regular cement
• The bathtub in our room his huge and the shower is separate and really nice as well
• The boys bathroom even has double sinks

• Every little detail is just perfect 

Man I hope we get it :)

I can hope, right?

I'm on a weight loss mission.  I'm determined to finally loose this weight.  I absolutely hate how I look and I'm tired of being depressed about it.  Problem though...my hips.  They have gotten progressively worse.  Especially the past few months they have gotten really bad.  Which means there really is no workout I can do besides sit ups and swimming.  Swimming isn't exactly an option this time of year and with no 2nd car.  So yes, I ordered diet pills last night, SlimQuick.  I'm hoping they give me the start I need to get this weight off.  I think I'm going to look into Weight Watchers too.  Yes I know the dangers or diet pills so spare me.  No I'm not taking the easy way out, it has nothing to do with not wanting to exercise because I do.  I'd love to go workout each night and have a break and do something good for myself but I literally can NOT do it.  I don't think many people really GET it.  But anyways I'm doing what I think is best for me and I really hope it helps.  

But speaking of hips I looked on Scottish Rite's website today, for anyone that doesn't know my previous hip surgeries have all been through Dr. Johnston there.  He is the only one that has ever operated on me, done follow ups, I did all physical therapy there.  I was sponsored by the Shriners.  Next problem, they are a children's hospital, up to age 18.  But my Dr. still works there and well I'm desperate, I wrote admissions in the hopes that since I was a patient there and they've done everything for me that even though I'm now 23 they would still see me and do my hip replacement.  It's all stemming from my original problems so I hope they will.  I'm pretty sure they won't but doesn't hurt to ask right?  I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.  We don't have insurance and even if I were to get insurance tomorrow IF they would even cover pre-existing conditions I'm sure there would be atleast a 6mo waiting period before I could get the surgery.  I need it done, yesterday.  I hope to hear back from Scottish Rite tomorrow.  I'm considering calling Dr. Johnston's office myself and asking them, but I'm scared they'll say no and then I'll just feel stupid, I'd rather do it over email but I don't have an email directly to him.  I don't know if I should just call or what....

Really Texas?

Seriously Texas you closed for this????????  Stupid.  

I got up this morning, got Landon ready for school and waited for the bus.  10min after the bus should have been here I start thinking ok maybe they closed..turn on the news and sure enough they did!  Said the roads were bad?  There was NOTHING over, yes it was damn cold but they go to school in a heated building, who cares if it's cold, that's not a reason to close!  No ice on the streets here.  Mark drove from Haslet all the way to Waxahachie just like everyday, about 75mi drive through many of the highways...he said the roads were just fine.  Maybe some icy patches but nothing to close over.  Texas needs to suck it up and learn to drive on winter streets....not close the schools over something like this.  

I do have to say damn it's cold!!!!  I can't believe how cold this winter has been here, much more than usual.  Snow 3 times, ones really good snow too and on Christmas Eve which makes it even better :)  I had to order Landon and Casen real winter coats last night online, yes because the stores have ZERO left!!!  How crazy is that??  Why wouldn't they keep getting them in, I mean winter JUST started.  So now the boys have to wait like 2 wks to get them.  Oh well I got really good deals, love good deals :D  Only $83 for both, normally priced $170 plus shipping...for both of them.  NowI just hope I like them, I hate buying online for clothes...unless it's a store that the clothes are always around the same thing just different colors/patterns like Pumpkin Patch.  But these are good brands so that shouldn't be an issue I just hope I like the colors in person....and that they fit.  

The boys have been nuts today!!!  Fighting nonstop, tattling, whining, yelling at each other!, Hayden's been alright I suppose, he did throw cars at them earlier but can't really blame him they were driving me insane too lol.  No of course he got in trouble haha.  But things seem to have calmed down for now, I'm sure come 5 til bedtime it will be nuts again with sleepy kids and that's always so busy...atleast homework is out of the mix tonight, minus reading time of course.  

They better open the schools again tomorrow.....

New Schedule Day One

So today was day one of my new schedule I made for myself.  I want to feel more productive during the day and keep up with housework easier.  Also keep the boys a little more entertained, they've been seeming to get bored lately.  Today went really well though, I did make a few adjustments to my schedule already, added a few things in, which is good, I had time for more.  It also keeps me from getting so bored and getting online so much.  

I'm starting a home management binder to help keep track of things too.  Keep my schedule in there, calendar, special chores that need to be done, budget, grocery lists, menus....etc.  I like lists, I like to be organized so I think this will work well for me.  When I get it all put together I'll have to take pics haha


One of my "resolutions" for me was to start cooking more.  I cook alot anyways but I've been slacking lately and doing too many "easy" dinners and breakfast too.  Lots of sandwiches for lunch, just the same meat and cheese or pb&j so we are switching it up.  I planned out breakfast, lunch and dinner for everyday this week...snacks and desserts too.  We are doing good so far.  

Yesterday's breakfast and lunch don't count...we were out.  But dinner was amazing!!!  Fresh tilapia, pan fried...the boys LOVED it!!!  Hayden had 2 helpings and Landon and Casen had 3!  They want it all the time now they said.  Casen helped make everything too.  We also roasted some garlic and made some garlic mashed potatoes with yukon gold potatoes...my new favorite for mashed potatoes! Delicious  Then we had some veggies on the side.  For dessert me and Casen made homemade peach cobbler...it was awesome!  HUGE hit...with some vanilla ice cream on top..oh yeah it was great.  Another one they would like to have every day lol


Today I made them muffins for breakfast, blueberry and strawberry ones..yummy.  They skipped lunch (not Landon because he was at school) but with winter break just ending today Casen and Hayden slept in later so ate breakfast later, then when naptime came they still weren't ready for lunch so I put them BOTH, yep both down for a nap.  That was a nice break, they both slept really good.  When Hayden woke up first we made monkey munch for their snack so they all had alot of that and some fruit for snack.  Then we had yummy chicken with veggies and pasta with a sundried tomato vinegarette type sauce.  I made cheesecake for dessert but they actually weren't hungry for anything else so they just took baths and went to bed :)  


I like cooking and with my new schedule the house is fully clean, barely had to do anything when the boys went to bed or after dinner, they cleaned their plates off themselves so it was nice.  Just sitting here relaxing now listening to all three of them in there snoring together waiting for Daddy to get home

Happy New Year!!

I really can't believe it's already 2010...how did that happen so fast? I remember in 2000 celebrating the New Year with my Aunt Gigi and my sister and friends we met there. Worried what was going to happen when it changed over to 2000 haha. Back then I was 13 and wow so much has changed. Since then I have had 3 wonderful little boys, met the love of my life and best friend in the entire world and many other small great things have happened. Some hard times too....loosing my dad in 2008 being the biggest. But overall as I look back over the past 10yrs it's been pretty great, I hope the next 10 measure up and surpass that.

This past year has been pretty tough. Nov 2007 Mark lost his job and things got bad, not with us but just money wise and stress. It took what seemed like forever for him to find a job. We had to move from Colorado, the one place we wanted to live the rest of our lives back to Texas. Move Landon out of his school and away from the first real friends he made on his own. But we made it through and we are a stronger family for it. Mark has a better job than he's ever had before and we are doing better than ever. I guess I can "thank" Kat for that...but I still better not ever run into her again. I hope this next year is much better than the past one!

We have alot to do this month coming up, we have a month exactly now to find a house, pack and move, which means moving Landon out of his school and away from these friends he's made. I hate that. But after that I hope everything else is wonderful! I have made a few resolutions for this year but I won't share them all, some are for just me. But here are a couple

1. To be a better Mom to my wonderful boys
2. Spend less time on the computer
3. Set a better schedule and get more done during the day, feel like I've accomplished more
4. Join a gym and start working out
5. Keep up with this blog more :)

That's all I'll share for now but I hope this time next year I'll be able to say I've done all of those things and much more. Here is to a wonderful 2010!!! Have a safe and happy new year!

Late night

Ugh I'm so tired of everyone being sick!!! It's been a week and a half now since it all started but it seems like it's been going on forever!!! Landon is completely better, thankfully. Hayden pretty much is, he's still not eating much and has a runny nose but other than that he's fine. I posted about our ordeal with Casen yesterday and I'm happy to report he is MUCH better...but still sick. And now Mark is getting worse. His temp is 101.5 after taking 3 ibuprofen only about 2hrs before and he feels like crap. It never ends I swear.

Tonight Mark feels so cold, to himself only! He keeps asking me to keep him warm in bed so I tried as long as I could but I was starting to sweat under all the covers up against him being so hot, plus Hayden was on the other side of me so body heat from there too. I couldn't take it anymore so I came out on the couch with Casen and left those two in there and cranked up the heat with only that vent open so hopefully that will help keep him warm.

Casen though is alot better, I can tell those breathing treatments really helped him. He isn't as worn out, I think he was so tired from not breathing so well, wearing himself out just breathing. His cough is also much better since doing them. His temp didn't get very high today. So I think he's on the road to getting better. Earlier I gave him a slice of raisin bread and he picked out all of the raisins and wouldn't eat the bread, part of it fell on the floor and I asked him to pick it up so I could vacuum. He went to pick it up and there was an ant on the floor and you would have thought he saw a HUGE spider or something with the way he reacted. He flipped out, crying, screaming the whole bit. I had him pick it up anyways...ant wasn't on it, in fact it was a good 6in away, I guess he thought it could run super fast or jump or something. But Casen has a tendency to play things over and over in his head, play things up so he worked himself up over it big time. He kept crying and wouldn't listen to calm down, also because he was tired from no nap so I had him go to his room to calm down. I vacuumed and he was still upset so I went in there and talked with him. He was so upset that he had to get that close to the ant. I told him it couldn't move that fast or jump and that he was fine nothing happened...his response..."well something could have possibly happened". Wasn't getting anywhere lol. I told him that along with my eyes on the back of my head that every mom has, we also get super hearing and when I was vacuuming I sucked the ant up and heard it screaming "nooo don't suck me up" (before this I had told him I sucked it up, he questioned how I was SURE I got it) he didn't believe me at first, but I finally convinced him lol. He truly believes I ahve eyes on the back of my head and is always randomly bringing it up asking questions about it :) But after that ordeal he had nightmares tonight about the ants and he's now on the couch asleep. See what I mean by playing it up in his head? But as I sit here writing all of this I keep hearing him grinding his teeth...it kills me!! AWFUL sound!

But now that it seems Hayden has finally fallen asleep back there with Mark I should try and sleep too, I'm sure one or two of them will be waking me up atleast once more tonight. As of now it seems my Mom body has finally figured out it is NOT allowed to get sick and hopefully it stays that way!